Some Math Jokes

Hi!

1.
"My life is all arithmetic", the young businesswoman explains. "I try to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying..."

2.
In a dark, narrow alley, a function and a differential operator meet:
"Get out of my way - or I'll differentiate you till you're zero!"
"Try it - I'm ex..."

3.
Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].

4.
"What is Pi?"
A mathematician: "Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter."
A computer programmer: "Pi is 3.141592653589 in double precision."
A physicist: "Pi is 3.14159 plus or minus 0.000005."
An engineer: "Pi is about 22/7."
A nutritionist: "Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!"

5.
Ivan Ivanovich, great russian Scientist does an experiment. He wants
to know how fast a thermometer falls down. He takes a thermometer and
a light, a candle light. He drops both from the 3rd floor and recognices
that they are reaching the ground at the same time. Ivan Ivanovich, great
russian scientific writes in his book: A theomometer falls with the speed
of light.

6.
Mathematicians never die - they only loose some of their functions.

7.
A math professor, a native Texan, was asked by one of his students: "What is mathematics good for?"
He replied: "This question makes me sick! If you show someone the Grand Canyon for the first time, and he asks you `What's it good for?' What would you do? Well, you kick that guy off the cliff!"

8.
Life is complex: it has both real and imaginary components.

9.
Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?
A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work - the philosopher can do without the trash bin...

10.
Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"
Student: "It's 42!"
Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"
Same student: "It's 24!"